How To Look Good In Shorts ... aka The Cure For My White Chicken Legs

chickenLet me get something out of the way right off the bat ... this is NOT an article about which mens shorts are in style or what types of shorts look best on certain body types. It IS about a simple solution I have found to help you look your best in whatever pair of shorts you do decide to wear (and I'm praying that you don't choose jean shorts).

After all of these years, I'm finally ready to discuss my "affliction". Yes...I was born with "milkitis" of the legs. Not familiar with said condition? Let me share with you its definition: A condition that results in your legs always being the color of milk no matter how long and hard you try and get them tan from being outdoors.

The weird thing for me though is that I have NEVER seemed to be able to get any color below my waist. Above the waist ... no problem. Below the waist ... the color of milk. Now that it is officially "shorts season", I figured it was finally time to tackle this issue head-on. Why now you ask??? Well ... put simply: men look better in shorts when their legs have at least a little color. Here is my simple solution:

Try using a daily moisturizer on your legs that contains a gentle self-tanner (like Jergens Natural Glow). To be brutally honest ...I truly hate these types of products ... not because they don't work, but simply because they have historically smelled so bad. I saw this new Jergens product on the shelf and it stated right on the front label "Finally! Great Color Without Odor!". Well...the product does indeed work to give my legs a little color that they have been so sorely missing but the lotion still stinks ... it just stinks a little less than previous versions. Since I only use it occasionally (and not too close to my nose), the benefit of not having legs that look like the color of milk outweighs the strange stench.

A few additional words of wisdom:

1) If you decide to give a self tanner a try, make sure to follow the directions carefully.

2) Make sure you stop using it when the color of your legs matches the rest of your body!

3) Hopefully you already know how bad sun exposure is for the short and long term health of your skin. This is just my humble suggestion to help gain the "look" in a more controlled and safer way.

4) Remember, that leg color is only one way to help you look your best in shorts ... another is making sure you work your legs out to give them some definition. While white "chicken legs" are bad, tan ones don't look too much better.

Most importantly ... enjoy your summer regardless of what color and shape your legs are (I'll just be enjoying mine a little bit more this year now that my legs match the rest of my body)


Want $5 Off Your First Order?